"new math" is just difficult

Offhand comments from parents about "new math" is just difficult an soo confusing can have a profound, lasting adverse effect on their children's development in mathematics, self-confidence, and overall approach to academics. Such seemingly harmless comments are more influential than parents realize, generating learning barriers that persist for years.
Children instinctively look to parents initially for information regarding the world generally, and what math concepts are of necessity difficult or worthwhile doing. When parents express confusion or distress over a math concept or the way mathematics is being presented, children learn those feelings as truth. A child who hears their parent mumble, "I don't understand this new math either," receives an implicit message that mathematics is naturally confusing and that it's acceptable not to understand it.
This phenomenon of math anxiety transmission creates a cycle in which parents' attitudes have a direct consequence for how their children perceive their own mathematical ability. Consistent is the effect demonstrated by experiments with the outcome that if parents hold adverse attitudes towards mathematics, then they create the same attitudes in their children, with the outcome of lower performance and motivation. Children begin to solve mathematical problems with an expectation of difficulty rather than curiosity or confidence.
The "new math" moniker itself is erroneous as it builds current teaching methods as foreign and too complicated in comparison to "the way we used to do it." The majority of contemporary math methods are actually designed to create stronger conceptual foundations rather than rote memorization. The question is how to do new math? Methods like number bonds, breaking-down strategies, and visual schemes promote learning students to the underlying architecture of mathematical processes, the result being stronger foundations in higher-level concepts.
When parents condemn these practices in front of the children, they subtly disenfranchise the learning process. Students may resist learning new approaches, wishing to keep up customs their parents know, depriving them of mathematical flexibility and problem-solving abilities. They would also take on the idea that there is one "right" way of solving problems and so be less likely to think of other ways of doing things or outside the box when it comes to mathematical concepts.
Besides, these comments can create unnecessary tension in the parent-child relationship during homework sessions. Children are in between the teacher's approach and parents' expectations, which can lead to frustration and confusion. Children might fear that they're disappointing their parents by using school-acquired methods or believe that they're doing something wrong.
It also extends its impact far beyond the realm of mathematics. If parents are perplexed by school material, children will begin questioning the value of schooling or become uncertain about the quality of instruction in their school. It contributes to overall scholarly apprehension and decreases children's internal motivation to learn.
Instead of responding with frustration or confusion, parents can model good learning attitudes by saying, for example, "This is different from what I did. Can you demonstrate your way?" This positions the child as competent and smart and shows that learning new ways is interesting and valuable.
Parents may also focus on effort and problem-solving strategies rather than means, encouraging persistence and creative thinking regardless of math method used. When truly stumped by homework strategies, parents may research the methods in secret or discuss with teachers face-to-face rather than airing frustration in front of the children.
By maintaining optimistic, curious expectations regarding math learning, parents are able to foster children's resilience, confidence, and genuine interest in mathematics, which will set the stage for long-term academic success.